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Master Thief (flash fiction)

August 28, 2013

Jewelry counter in Union Station by Dawn Miller

The stolen necklaces weighed bright and heavy in the hidden compartments of his trenchcoat. Eyes of the passersby felt suspicious, prying eyes that bore into his soul, seeking the truth, and he longed for the train to take him away from these stabbing eyes, away from the station, toward freedom.

“Stolen necklaces? Yeah, okay, master thief. Better put your pen down and grab your luggage. It’s time to board our train.”

Her sparkling blue eyes looked up from his notebook to gaze into his eyes. This beautiful woman beckoned, and he wondered if he should trust her with diamonds.

 


Friday Fictioneers prompt given by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. For other stories inspired by this photo, click here.
Photo of a jewelry counter in Union Station in Washington, DC, copyright Dawn M. Miller
Story copyright Dave Williams

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25 Comments leave one →
  1. summerstommy2 permalink
    August 28, 2013 3:36 pm

    What a great final image Zooky. ….her eyes looked up from his notebook…..great image…..I wonder if he should?

  2. August 28, 2013 4:06 pm

    I think he should trust her. Nice one.

  3. August 28, 2013 4:37 pm

    Ah..this one made me chuckle as I thought about the scene.

  4. August 29, 2013 6:45 am

    not sure if he should trust her. entertaining story:)

  5. August 30, 2013 1:16 am

    I think he has no choice but to trust her. Know what: I’m picturing the first reel of a movie with Cary Grant and Grace Kelly!

    • August 30, 2013 5:14 am

      I like your choice of actors… although they seem too classy for such a goofy story. Thanks for stopping by!

  6. August 30, 2013 5:38 am

    Ooh, now, if he doesn’t take her up on the invitation, he will never know! Decisions, decisions….

  7. August 30, 2013 11:18 am

    exciting! 🙂

  8. August 30, 2013 12:34 pm

    We had similar visions on this one, but took it in totally different directions. Liked that your main character was a writer, and I suspect so will many of your readers. Good technique, the way you moved from the fictional to the real world. Ron

    • September 1, 2013 8:14 am

      That’s something I really like about the Friday Fictioneers: how we can come up with such different takes on the prompt. Thanks for reading!

  9. August 30, 2013 2:18 pm

    Easier to get through security on the train? But trust a woman… Well being one – I’d be wary. 🙂

    Nice. Makes me want to know more background as well as if they succeed in the escape attempt 😉

    • September 1, 2013 8:15 am

      I like your comment about being wary! I’d like to hope with the sense of humor of these two characters, they’re going to have fun together.

  10. August 30, 2013 4:17 pm

    Fun interjection of reality into the fantasy world of the writer. Well done.

  11. August 30, 2013 4:19 pm

    The way I read this, he’s a writer “caught” in mid-writing stream! Lovely how he used his wife’s (girlfriend’s?) comment to jump back into the story.

    • September 1, 2013 8:13 am

      Yep, that’s what I was imagining as I wrote the story — fun interplay between a writer and his wife (or girlfriend). Thanks for coming by and reading!

  12. JackieP permalink
    August 30, 2013 5:38 pm

    Oh he has got to take that leap! Really what has he got to lose? Well except some baubles perhaps. 😉

  13. August 31, 2013 3:43 am

    Trust a woman with diamonds, sure if you want to part with the stones forever.. but at least it’s better than prison

  14. August 31, 2013 4:19 am

    Dear Dave,

    Your story started out as a Bad Writing Fest and i was scared. What had I gotten myself into? But then you revealed all and i laughed and laughed. Well done. Sounds like a husband and wife team, Some kind of cross between Walter Mitty and Calvin and Hobbes. Loved it.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    • August 31, 2013 5:20 am

      Really like your comparisons — I’m a big Calvin and Hobbes fan. When I wrote the story, I pictured a husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend with good senses of humor — and a lot of patience on the woman’s part. Thanks for stopping by and reading.

  15. August 31, 2013 4:36 am

    Dear Dave,

    This one took me a couple of reads, but I haven’t had coffee yet. Everyone’s a critic. He’ll show her when he’s awarded his first Pulitzer. Nice one. Made me laugh.

    shalom,

    Rochelle

  16. August 31, 2013 11:44 pm

    That’s quite a step, to trust a woman with a diamond. Great story.

  17. September 2, 2013 2:57 pm

    Lovely – the imagination of the writer. Although, as you’ve put the thought in my head, I’m wondering, is any of these scenarios real?

    • September 3, 2013 5:58 am

      The real part of this scenario is that I’ve written in a train station with my wife sitting next to me — but I didn’t write about stealing jewels. I figured the character’s imagination took off when he saw a jewelry counter and decided to use that in his story. Thankfully, he has a girlfriend (or wife) with a sense of humor.

  18. September 19, 2013 5:40 pm

    No don’t do it. Don’t give her the diamonds. At least not if you read my story. She’s dangerous. 🙂

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