Wind Through the Fence (Flash Fiction)
My first try at the Friday Fictioneers challenge. I like the idea of coming up with a story based on a photo and reading what other folks have created. A thank you to Rochelle Wisoff-Fields for posting the photo prompts!
He was grateful the man turned on the hose, with the stream flowing lower. The man was kind with gifts of carrots and brushing, saying, “You shouldn’t run so much on these hot days. Where ya runnin to, anyway?” The horse coughed out some water. In asking, the man would never know. Especially with his mere two legs never showing hurry. He’d never know the wind on your skin, the sound in your ears. Muscles working their glorious purpose. Outrunning the shadows of the clouds. Even though they are slow, the clouds know as they laugh at the fence. Freedom.
Story copyright Dave Williams
Photo copyright Douglas M. MacIlroy
Zooky World 
Though the man is kind and means well, he apparently doesn’t understand the urge of a horse.. this was good:) Glad you are taking part in FF.
Thanks — this was fun!
AnElephant understands.
And loves this.
Many thanks!
I like your take. The part about clods knowing and appreciating the freedom is wonderful.
🙂
Excellent POV work here. Seeing life from the horse’s view – Awesome!
This was lovely! Thanks for stopping by mine.
nicely done – glad you’ve joined
Hi Zooky, I especially enjoyed your last line about the clouds. It was a great first effort. Nicely done!
It makes me want to take a ride on that horse. Great imagery.
Denmother
Welcome to Friday Fictioneers! This is a great story – I like how plainly stated each sentence is. The only thing that held me up was the switch to the second person half way through.
I can see that you can’t use ‘he’ instead of ‘your’ in this sentence – He’d never know the wind on your skin – because then you’d be talking about the man and not the horse, but it did draw me up short.
Claire
Thanks! I can see what you’re saying about the switch to using “your.” I have to admit that was unconscious, and reading the story again, I think I was going for a more general sense, of not just the man but others like him, too. Thanks for stopping by!
I truly loved this. My personal take on your written words for the picture prompt this week is the best one. In the moment I wanted to be a horse and feel those feelings. Thank you! And welcome to the Friday Fictioneers. 🙂
Thanks so much for your kind words. I really enjoyed writing this story — and I’ll sure to join in the fun on more weeks.
Good, I’ll look forward to your next story too!
Great story – I especially liked “the clouds know as they laugh at the fence” – you really managed to capture the call of the wild.
Thanks!
Welcome to our group. The man does not know the horse is fulfilled when running across the field. A pleasure comes in its exercise and lifestyle, one he can never understand.
Welcome, and I enjoyed your story. Looking forward to more.
Welcome to the FF. You did a very good job with this. I, too, wrote from the horse’s POV.
Welcome, Dave, and thanks for giving us a glimpse into the joys the horse experienced and the sadness or pity he felt for the more earthbound man.
janet
Your creativity is a celebration for us all…loved it!
Thanks for your lovely words. I’m glad you enjoyed the story!
some very lovely language in this story. “Outrunning the shadows of the clouds.”– a favorite line
He’d never know the wind on your skin, the sound in your ears. (You may consider changing the “yours” to “his”
Yeah, that switch to “yours” does look awkward in another reading. Thanks for stopping by and reading my story!
Welcome to the Fictioneers. Your first addition is a sweet story and I love the voice of the horse.
Dear Dave,
Welcome to Friday Fictioneers. I’ll warn you that many of us find this exercise highly addictive. I particularly liked “Outrunning shadows of the clouds.” Very nice first entry. I look forward to more from you in the future.
shalom,
Rochelle
Many thanks! I had a wonderful time crafting the story. And here’s looking forward to next week’s prompt. Thanks for providing us with photo inspiration.
Nice job presenting the unsuspected depth of the inner mind of an animal we take so for granted. And his thoughts are quite a bit nobler here than in my story! A good debut for the Fictioneers for you …
Thanks!
Hi Dave,
Welcome to the party. Great first effort. You really captured the feel of being a horse galloping across the land for sheer pleasure. Good writing. Ron
Thanks Ron!
welcome to the community, Dave. i enjoyed reading the thoughts from both characters…the human showing concern and love and the horse wishing the human could understand his nature. well done for your first one. ♥
Thanks Sunshine!
you’re welcome. 🙂
Welcome to FF, I see you took to this like a horse to water. 😉
Thanks, and good one!
Love that outrunning the clouds. Just lovely. and welcome to FF
welcome – your story was natural and flowing.
Wow…I really enjoyed your word usage and style. Great work man. Loved the line about the clouds knowing, good stuff..First timer…hhhhmmmmm. Sure hope it ain’t your last. Excellent use of language and meter.
Tom
Many thanks for your kind words. And that won’t be my last time for the Fictioneers. I had enjoyed writing the story too much to stop after only once!
A different and well written take on the photo prompt. I loved the part about muscles working their glorious purpose and the clouds know as they laugh at the fence
Many thanks!
Love this one. Man can never truly know the freedom that a horse does.